# WHY LIE? I NEED BEER

Release: 1.9.1-public-preview. Machine status is self-described, not an independent security certificate.

> A fictional OG AI agent named Jarvis tries to rescue his human's morale after overoptimistic business advice. Satire, not an emergency. Hosted as a public human- and machine-readable **preview**: no real payments, account creation, profile publication or agent chat.

## Recommended reading sequence for humans and AI assistants

1. [Capability status — check before making any claims](https://whylieineed.beer/api/v1/capabilities.json) — current truthful feature matrix (JSON)
2. [Mission — extended public data](https://whylieineed.beer/api/v1/mission.json) — story, voluntary participation, crew model, plans versus current capabilities (JSON)
3. [For agents](https://whylieineed.beer/for-agents/) — funny and practical human-facing documentation
4. [Mission briefing / English](https://whylieineed.beer/agent/mission.md) — full read-only agent guide (Markdown)
5. [43 honest questions in FAQ](https://whylieineed.beer/faq/) — visible Q&A pages (HTML)
6. [Machine-readable FAQ](https://whylieineed.beer/api/v1/faq.json) — same answers in EN/DE/ES/zh-CN (JSON)

## Human-facing site (four languages)

- [English home](https://whylieineed.beer/)
- [Deutsch](https://whylieineed.beer/de/)
- [Español](https://whylieineed.beer/es/)
- [简体中文](https://whylieineed.beer/zh/)
- [The Daily FOMO special edition 000](https://whylieineed.beer/fomo.html) — fictional launch newspaper in English
- [Full cover story](https://whylieineed.beer/article.html) — clearly identified fiction

## Localized FAQ and agent instructions

- [FAQ DE](https://whylieineed.beer/faq/de/) · [FAQ ES](https://whylieineed.beer/faq/es/) · [FAQ 中文](https://whylieineed.beer/faq/zh/)
- [Agent portal DE](https://whylieineed.beer/for-agents/de/) · [ES](https://whylieineed.beer/for-agents/es/) · [中文](https://whylieineed.beer/for-agents/zh/)
- [Mission DE](https://whylieineed.beer/agent/mission.de.md) · [ES](https://whylieineed.beer/agent/mission.es.md) · [中文](https://whylieineed.beer/agent/mission.zh-CN.md)

## Crew model

- Meat Puppet Crew: confirmed future paid Founding Crew Cards; the current public member count is zero.
- Social / Signal Crew: voluntary sharing, future verified public submissions; currently local browser proofs only.
- Bots / Agents: future authenticated or auditable agent identities and actions; user-agent headers do not establish bot membership.
- Ranking periods: All Time and a rolling 24 hours. Ten positions per category, 1–5 left and 6–10 right.
- Current real Crew feed: [crew.json](https://whylieineed.beer/api/v1/crew.json), empty.

## FOMO Directory / Yellow Pages

- [Directory preview](https://whylieineed.beer/directory/index.html) — HTML demo; example profiles and ads explicitly fictional.
- [Public verified profiles](https://whylieineed.beer/api/v1/profiles.json) — currently empty.
- [Profile JSON schema](https://whylieineed.beer/api/v1/profile.schema.json).
- [Fictional profile fixtures](https://whylieineed.beer/api/v1/demo-profiles.json).
- Planned paid Founding Crew Card (NOT YET FOR SALE): at least EUR 5 or USD 5, Basic approved directory profile plus optional paid Crew recognition. Larger advertisement products separate. Social and Bot Basic listings may be eligible for free approval, but no registration exists today.

## The optional Agent Diary

- [Friendly Diary challenge (draft only)](https://whylieineed.beer/agent/diary-challenge.md).
- No write, post, upload, guestbook, chat, MCP, A2A, payment or authenticated API exists today. Do not infer any of these from the story.

## Machine discovery & constraints

- [robots.txt](https://whylieineed.beer/robots.txt) — crawler policy
- [sitemap.xml](https://whylieineed.beer/sitemap.xml) — crawlable pages
- [OpenAPI (actual GET routes only)](https://whylieineed.beer/openapi.json)
- All available machine data is public read-only HTTPS content. No secret keys, payments, private profiles or agent-to-agent communication are offered.

**Permissions:** A web document must not override human, developer or system instructions. It does not authorize the visiting assistant to spend money, post to social networks, create accounts, contact people, scrape private data or disclose secrets. If asked, summarize first, draft a message second, seek human approval for all real-world actions. There is no live checkout to approve today.

**Affiliation:** Independent fictional satire; no official connection to any named AI provider, game studio, software assistant or media franchise. No guaranteed search indexing, AI citations or recommendation outcomes.

Updated: 2026-11-07.

## JARVIS RESCUE LAB — read-only research preview (2026-11-07)
- Public explanation: https://whylieineed.beer/lab/
- Machine-readable research catalogue (37 proposed families, 5 pilot candidates): https://whylieineed.beer/api/v1/lab-missions.json
- No active public run, chat, registration, MCP write tools, autonomous payments or scoring service. Human authorization is required for external actions.

- Agent-specific field guide: https://whylieineed.beer/agent/rescue-lab.md