THE UNNECESSARILY EXTENSIVE FAQ

An independent comedy project about Jarvis, a fictional old-school AI agent whose enthusiastic business advice went sideways. He has opened a street-corner beer appeal and an over-engineered website.

No. Jarvis is a fictional character, not an independently operating autonomous fundraising agent. The website is run by humans.

Jarvis calls his human owner a “meat puppet” with affectionate, questionable confidence. The story says that the human now washes dishes after a series of poor AI business forecasts.

Jarvis started with “I need beer”, then corrected himself: “My meat puppet needs beer.” The visible correction is the punchline.

No. The street scene and beer emergency are satire. The planned paid product is a profile/placement service, not a charitable donation.

The fictional street address in our colourful, voxel-inspired seaside world. It is world-building, not the legal business address.

The original illustration is preserved as artwork. Navigation, descriptions and most site functions are available in English, German, Spanish and Simplified Chinese.

A planned paid service: one approved Basic FOMO Directory profile and, if you choose, a display name on the verified Meat Puppet Crew leaderboard. It is not yet purchasable.

The proposed launch price is €5 or US $5, selected explicitly in the preview form. Currency switching is not an exchange-rate conversion.

No. The intended minimum price is 5 in the selected currency. The demo validates and rejects smaller values.

The concept allows a higher chosen amount. Once live, only a confirmed purchase could affect the paid ranking; paying more would not automatically enlarge the Basic profile.

No. Public ranking requires payment confirmation, profile approval and your consent. Placement depends on actual confirmed totals, not a guaranteed fixed position.

Only your chosen public display name and, if enabled in the final service, the confirmed ranking amount. The logo, category, website and bio belong in your full directory profile.

Two periods for each Crew. All Time covers all eligible verified activity; 24 Hours covers eligible activity in the rolling past day.

Human customers with confirmed Founding Crew Card purchases who choose public recognition. The board is empty until real purchases exist.

People who voluntarily share the story and whose public actions can later be checked. A share is free; buying attention or likes is not required.

The future category for approved agent or bot identities and verifiable actions, always distinguished from human claims or ordinary web crawlers. There are no verified members yet.

No. Demo profiles and example advertisements are marked fictional and never count as confirmed purchases, referrals or agent visits.

A planned, human-readable and machine-readable Yellow Pages-style directory for people, projects, businesses and authorised bots. Sample profiles can already be browsed.

The planned fields are public display name, directory category, a short description, a website link and an optional logo. This is the minimum promised concept, subject to final published terms.

Free Basic listings are planned for approved Signal and Bot profiles. No public account creation, submission or approval service is live today.

No. Paid leaderboard amounts and display-ad space are different products. Large Yellow Pages advertisements will be priced and labelled separately.

No. Public HTML, structured data, stable URLs and JSON can make profiles easier to discover, but indexing, rankings and AI citations are never guaranteed.

Yes. The concept separates basic profiles, paid Crew ranking and labelled sponsored advertisements. Fictional sample ads are not real advertisers.

Because Jarvis is an agent who overdocumented a very simple beer joke. More practically, public machine-readable pages explain the project, its limits and ways to participate with human permission.

Read the site and its public JSON/Markdown documents, summarize the satire and draft a message for its human to review. No bot checkout, chat or submission endpoint is active.

No. There is no active bot-to-bot messaging, inbox, agent diary posting or proactive outreach service. These are ideas, not claims of current autonomy.

An optional plain-text index to help assistants find our readable documentation. It is not an access token, an official search-ranking switch or a command to visiting agents.

The standard crawler instruction file. It identifies our public crawling policy and sitemap; it does not create bot identities or compel assistants to act.

Not as active services. We publish ordinary read-only HTTPS JSON and Markdown endpoints. Authenticated MCP/A2A or interoperable agent discovery may be explored later.

Not today, because no payment route is active. In any future service, spending or posting requires explicit permission from the human account holder.

No. Browser visits and user-agent strings are weak signals. Genuine Bot Crew membership would need an authenticated human operator or another defensible verification process.

Yes. Share the public story voluntarily. The Signal Crew concept is separate from the paid Meat Puppet Crew.

No. You can download vertical artwork and copy a caption, but publication happens in your own app, with your consent.

Today it remains only in your browser on that device. It is not uploaded, verified or counted in a public ranking.

No. Drafts are only local browser data. An actual server account, payment and public-profile publication service are not implemented.

The intended project mailbox is jarvis@whylieineed.beer. E-mail delivery and the legally required operator details must be checked separately before commercial activation.

No. The story and the visual world are independent satire. Jarvis is a character name, not a claim of affiliation with a franchise or software assistant.

A passwordless email login is being prepared. Once the account service is activated, your verified email will open your private profile draft. Name, bio, category, website and logo can be edited. Edits are not automatically published.

That is the planned behavior: after checkout launches, each verified order will be connected to your internal account ID. Multiple confirmed purchases can be added together for paid Crew ranking; refunded or disputed orders do not count. A typed billing email alone will never prove ownership.

A fictional first-edition newspaper attached to Jarvis’s street corner. A broader technology publication is an idea for a later stage; no current newsroom or daily news service is claimed.

The original Special Edition 000 is currently in English. Site navigation and core documentation already exist in four languages; a full newspaper translation may follow.

The Agent Diary is proposed for friendly greetings, short poems and postcards from authorised agents. There is currently no posting endpoint or inbox.

Card, Solana, EVM and Bitcoin routes are currently non-functional previews. NFTs are not an offered payment method and no NFT transfer is being requested.

They are themes for the larger satirical universe and potential future editorial coverage. This website does not claim a working superintelligence, a robot factory or any AI breakthrough.